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"What's in a name?"
Actually, Juliet, a lot. If it's the name on a
boat, you already know something about the man at
the wheel. Some are funny. Some are sweet. And
some – can we talk? – are recovering from
addictions or, worse, they are still chained to
their self-medications.
A rose by any name would smell as sweet but,
honey, I'm telling you, you do not want to share
cockpit air with the owners of Beeracuda or
Sir Osis of the River. A plague on both
their houses.
Nor do you want to be the soul mate of a guy who
skippers Blew Too Much.
You do not want to date the skipper of Eat
Drink and Re-marry. If you cruise with the
owner of Sin or Swim, I hope you can swim.
I am not giving you a pass to date the boys aboard
Stocks and Blonds, Knotty Buoy, Making Luff
and Sail Bad the Sinner.
However, I don't think I'm over stepping the
bounds of modesty to suggest that you can spend
quality time with the guy on Say Maybe.
Boat names have always fascinated me. I have seen
a bunch in a quarter-century of watching boats
come and go at Marinatown Marina in N. Fort Myers,
home to our charter fleet. This I believe: The
name on the boat goes with the name of the
skipper. Positively. Absolutely.
I have not met the skippers of Bow Movement
and Helmroid but I already know what is on
their minds and other areas of their anatomy.
What got me thinking about boat names was the
annual news release from the BoatUS with its Top
Ten List of Most Popular Boat Names. You'll
recognize some of them as carryovers from the year
before. And the year before that. And the year
before that.
You do not want to cruise on one of these boats,
in my opinion. The kind description of the owner
is that he recognized a clever boat name. The not
so kind description is that he is a copycat.
Seas the Day tops the list this year. Oh so
clever. Not.
At one time or another, all of the runner-ups have
made the list, I'm pretty sure: Summer Daze,
Second Chance, Aqua-Holic, Wind Seeker, Dream
Weaver, Black Pearl, Hydrotherapy, The Salt
Shaker, Sea Quest. I think I'll take a nap
now.
I'm all for boating. You know that. But, Juliet,
don't spend time with the boater who can't manage
his money. These are the guys whose boats have
names like Lackamoolah, A-Loan Again, and
What College Fund?
Just between us girls, to help you get over Romeo,
may I recommend some men whose cruising company
you will enjoy.
You'll relax and laugh on Ahoy Vey, A One Anna
Tuna, Oh Buoy, Oh Buoy, and Snap Shackle &
Pop.
If you like blue water fishing spend some time on
Marlin Monroe. However, if the angler
drinks Marilyn Merlot it could be a sign
that he can't get on with his life. There's a
lesson in that.
I'm betting you'll feel special cruising with the
guy who named his boat Sea Weedy Pie.
But, look. You're in no rush to get married. Those
who go fast, you know, stumble. So cruise slowly
with your guy on one of the just-for-two boats in
our charter fleet. I recommend the good boat
Patience.
Should true love blossom, and I hope it does, you
and your helmsman should shop for a vessel suited
for happily-ever-after cruising for the two of you
and, infrequently, your in-laws.
Please let him name it JULIET.
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