If you could choose a boat for each of the U.S.
presidential candidates, which type would you
choose for him or her?
I’ve always tilted toward
presidents who, in my mind’s eye, are in a boat.
George Washington crossing the frigid Delaware
with his soldiers in the dead of night makes him
a star forever in my imagination. Teddy
Roosevelt paddling a canoe down racing rivers is
a boating hero, too.
FDR planning D Day on the USS Sequoia is locked
in my memory. JFK racing his PT 109 is also. I
remember seeing a picture in the newspaper of
George Herbert Walker Bush holding up a striped
bass caught from his Cigarette. I prefer to
picture him as a naval aviator.
So what kinds of boats do you see some of our
current candidates piloting, and does it look
like they know what they are doing at the helm?
Donald Trump – a 100 ft.
mega-yacht, “Liquid Asset: fully staffed with
Captain and Crew. He doesn’t cruise with
the yacht, but rather flies in by helicopter to
meet the boat at the next Port – Block Island,
Newport, and points beyond. He loves to
entertain the top names in the world of
politics, business and the arts. No
drinking for the Donald, but we are sure the
champagne would flow freely along with gourmet
food and guests in their best Hamptons’ garb.
No shorts and t-shirts here – only Designer
whites for the ladies and blue blazers for the
Dr. Ben Carson- Maybe a
Grady-White fishing boat. He loves hanging out
with family and friends. He fillets his
catch of the day with the precision of a surgeon
– oh wait, he is a surgeon! -- never even
getting a spec of fish guts on him. He is
dressed in the latest Columbia fishing shirt
with coordinating belt and shorts and new
Topsiders. On the transom, the name reads “Knot
Carly Fiorina- a nice
motor yacht, not too flashy. She wants to
be seen as “for the working class.” At
anchor she throws on her jeans and jumps in the
kayak that they had towed behind.
She is passionate about
sticking to their cruising schedule – not
straying from the original float plan. Her yacht
is named “Lady Liberty.”
Marco Rubio – go fast
cruising/ fishing boat so he can go from his
Miami home to the Bahamas for the weekend.
The hotter the weather, the better. With lots of
friends around him – he communicates
effortlessly in Spanish and English. He
likes to emphasize all the points of interest
along the way. It’s hard to read the name of the
boat as he flies by. It’s something like “Pura
Jeb Bush – I see him in a
classic, restored Chris Craft that he keeps in
Maine at his parents’ home – fully varnished
with US Flag flying astern with traditional
appointments. He likes to cruise slowly, never
at full throttle, close to shore. He
doesn’t want to get to far off course. The boat
is named “Dreamin’.”
Mike Huckabee – floating around an Arkansas lake
on a hot Sunday afternoon aboard “Second
Chance,” a pontoon boat that’s the perfect
platform to entertain his kids and grandkids.
They’ll stop for a picnic ashore and set up the
grill. Governor Huckabee loves his bar-b-que.
He’ll serve up his ribs with a tall glass of
Rand Paul -- doesn’t own a
boat, but likes to go bass fishing with pals
back home in Kentucky. He doesn’t actually know
how to fish, but that doesn’t seem to matter.
The boat is called “No Rules.”
I don’t know about you,
but George Washington is still my captain!