Sudden Sensory Deprivation
by Barb Hanson
feeling a little down now that the Olympic games are over
and the TV networks have moved on to other programming?
not alone. Some of my charter customers have been telling
me they are feeling depressed and, yes, are noticing their
minds going in weird directions, too.
reported that she loved to watch swimming champ Michael
Phelps so she bought her husband an Olympics-style racing
suit for him to wear when they went for a dip.
W. said that ever since the TV coverage ended she scores
every boat that passes by on nine-point-something scale.
That trawler is a 9.6. This sailboat is a 9.3. That
personal watercraft is a 2.1. And so on.
W told me he has always unbuttoned his shirt to show off
the gold chains around his neck when he's out for a spin
in his go fast boat. Since the Olympics, though, he is
thinking about melting his gold chains and making them
into one, large, round pendant. He told me he might trade
in his Donzi for a rowing hull and his button down shirt
for neck-tight Under Armour. Is that weird or what?
You are not alone in your mental confusion, your
suffering. Anecdotal evidence is mounting. We are dealing
with a real medical condition.
Psychiatrists call it Sudden Olympics Sensory Anxiety
Deprivation, or, SOSAD
Peer-reviewed literature suggests that SOSAD occurs when
the brain is suddenly denied enhanced digital sensory
images. The scientists explain it this way: Your brain has
been focused exclusively on watching the world's best
athletes in vivid high definition. Then, bam, just like
that, it is taken away from you. However, to fill that
void, your brain must somehow continue to stay engaged in
the world even if the only thing to watch on TV is Larry
King talking to Tyra Banks.
wonder you're feeling depressed and despairing. Don't.
There is hope for you to lose those heavy emotional chains
and recapture the Eight-Gold-Medal Feeling you had
watching the champion swimmers or, for others, the perky
female gymnasts aged -- we hope -- 16 years or more.
professionals have established a therapeutic program for
SOSAD sufferers. They call it Solarium Aquarium Boatarium
not a pill and it doesn't require a prescription. It's
just fancy medical profession talk for urging sufferers to
change their physical location from indoors to outdoors,
from land to water, from artificial light to sun light.
And, yes, from a house or office to a boat.
boat, sail or power, will do. My clients confirm that
equal measures of sun, water and boat cruising in a cool
breeze feeds their senses and psyches with the natural
medicines they need to feel right again.
on a boat today. If you're still experiencing the symptoms
of SOSAD, call me in the morning. No, on second thought,
call me next week. I'm going cruising tomorrow.