"Tis the political season in America. Politicians
are running around with grease guns promising to
lubricate every squeaky wheel. But have you
noticed, they never offer to lubricate the squeaks
coming from the recreational boating community.
And why is that exactly?
Maybe it's because we boaters don't squeak. We're
self-reliant types. You know the drill. I can
still hear my parents: Take personal
responsibility. Don't buy what you can't afford.
Save for the future. All that.
So, I've been thinking, maybe we should start
We need an organization. Call it, what?
How about The Nau-tea-cal Party?
It would be based on boating principals. All
members would be expected to remain self-reliant
and not spend more than they have. It would also
be based on the principal that so long as our
elected officials are throwing our money around
then they should splurge on us, too.
Compared to what other squeaky wheels demand, we
boaters won't ask for much.
For starters, how about a little positive
recognition? I propose a National Boating Holiday.
This would be a summer holiday. All employees, not
just government workers, should get a paid day off
to go boating. Wait. Make that a two-day national
Instead of spending billions to bail out the auto
industry, our politicians could declare that they
will not let any boating company fail. Because,
where does it say that bailing out an auto company
is better than saving a U.S. boat company?
Washington doesn't realize it but the country
suffers from a huge postal delivery problem. As it
stands now the USPS does not deliver to people who
live on their boats. If the USPS can deliver bulk
mail advertising to a citizen who lives 200 miles
from nowhere it can surely deliver to a boat
moored out there in the harbor.
If politicians can spend billions of dollars to
pay farmers not to grow something or to reward
them when it doesn't rain, let's squeak until they
give some of that lubricant to marine stores and
waterfront restaurants to subsidize some of our
Of course, we need to do something for the
children. If high schools can teach Drivers Ed,
then by golly let's squeak for Boaters Ed. We
could have a Department of Boating with such
programs as No Boater Left Behind.
There is so much to do for the children, not just
nationally but at the state and local levels. In
St. Louis they're offering parents $900 to enroll
their children at one public school. Why not offer
parents another $900 to enroll their children in a
course about why boaters make better citizens?
Oh, and let's demand a Boaters Tax Free Week. All
boats, boating gear, boat and fishing charters,
accessories, boating clothes and boat shoes would
be sales tax free. I just love those cute boat
shoes in all the bright colors. But I digress.
Commentator Glenn Beck recently put on a rally on
the Mall in Washington called, “Restoring Honor.”
Well, there are no citizens more honorable than
Okay, then, let's organize our own citizens rally
called, “Restoring Fiscal Sanity" and invite
mariners from around the world to gather in Fort
Myers, Florida in a show of solidarity.
We'll dump tea in the harbor, pour rum in our cups
and sing R E S P E C T by Aretha Franklin.
Hey, we could make it into a robo-call that rings
in the home of every politician when he or she is